theMEproject
- Mar 5, 2021
- 5 min read

Lasting the Distance During a Pandemic: How to Make Long Distance Relationships Work

There's a lot to talk about when it comes to an LDR but, for this post, I'd like to focus more on my struggles in dealing with the loneliness and how my boyfriend and I continue to stay in love and stay hopeful during this pandemic. Our relationship is still very young, so I'm not claiming to know all the secrets to life and love but, at the same time, I feel like I've gained a significant amount of patience, love, and understanding since then and I would like to share some the things I've learned to you all who may be in the same situation as I, and for those forced into the distance as a result of the pandemic.

If you don't feel like reading the whole backstory go ahead and scroll down *deep breath* here I go.

My boyfriend and I met through a Facebook group and began to talk in December of 2018. We met each other for the first time seven months later and dated in early July of 2019. It was arguably the best year of my life. I went on countless trips, made incredible memories, met my wonderful boyfriend, was successful in my college studies, and I felt more independent as a person; it seemed like the world was my oyster, and I had never felt anymore hopeful for the future than that July of 2019.

Of course, all of you already know what happens in 2020 so, I won't dive too deep into that. It was incredibly frustrating, and it was a struggle for both of us. But my boyfriend and I were "well-equipped" if you want to put it, to weather the storm that the pandemic would bring about. We were already in an LDR, so nothing was different in terms of our communication. But at the same time, any plans we had of seeing each other were all scratched out. I can't even begin to describe the volume of tears I would shed. I was so in love yet so alone. I longed for him to hold me, to enjoy the smaller moments of life with him, and do something as simple as hold his hand. And yet, as I lay on my bed at 2:00 am, his sweater bunched to my side, tears all dried up, I still whispered under my breath, "he's worth all this." He makes me feel so beautiful, respected, and so loved. I wouldn't trade our relationship for anything in this world, and I regret nothing.

Long-distance is a challenge, but so is any relationship, and just like any relationship, both parties have to work together to keep the relationship going. The love can last. The love can remain despite all the hurdles you have to jump over. If you want to make it work, put in the effort. If you trust the person, don't doubt them. Work together. Be amazing by yourself, and become extraordinary together. Like because, and love despite.

Despite all the sad shit, the tears, the loneliness, and the distance, there's still hope. Here are five things that have helped my boyfriend and I stay happy and in love.

1. We value communication

Any time together is time well-spent. My boyfriend and I speak with each other basically every night. We used to talk to each other every other day or only when we felt like it, but we felt better talking to each other every day. We don't message each other as much during the day because we know we'll talk about it later that evening and therefore we remain interested in each other's conversations. I believe it's super important for you and your significant other to agree on when you talk to each other so no one is expecting more or less than the other.

More so than the frequency of our calls is the quality of our conversations. Yes, it's not super interesting on a day-to-day basis, but we like to talk about our feelings as openly and as best we can, when we can.

2. We set our expectations

Expectations essentially encompass pretty much anything you do in a long-distance relationship, or just any relationship, in my opinion. Tying into my last point, I think it's important that both of you set your expectations on when you meet, what to expect in terms of availability, moving in/out, etc. This can avoid heartbreak and disappointment in the long-run. However, there's absolutely no need to rush these conversations right away, look for the perfect time and ask to discuss it sometime. When you’re having serious talks, and especially when you’re setting your boundaries and trying to fully explain your expectations/wants, you need to respect each other and listen with an open heart.

I made the mistake of bringing up an important topic in the spur of the moment and caught my poor boyfriend off-guard, but fortunately, he was more than willing to discuss it with me. And now, I'm so glad that I brought it up at the very least because now, I know what my expectations are for the future.

3. We trust each other

The only way for you to trust your significant other is to have open and clear communication with each other, and respect. Don't say things you won't follow through on. This can only hurt feelings and hurt expectations, if we frequent our lies, trust starts to go down. Express your feelings to the best of your ability, especially when it's tough. In order for another person to understand you, you have to communicate your feelings clearly to give them the opportunity to make a connection with you. If you don't, there will only be a slurry of misunderstandings and that's never a good thing.

4. We set-up date nights

It's not something we do as frequently as we would like to, but I believe it's still important. To keep things interesting in our relationship we like to order food for each other, set up some nice lighting, and just have dinner with each other and enjoy each other's company in the comfort of our jammies (this is a major plus). This gives us a chance to reconnect on a deeper level than our average daily conversations and makes us appreciate our time together.

5. We try new activities

My boyfriend and I love to play games. Specifically, video games. It shows different sides of our personalities, more specifically, our more competitive sides, which only adds to our allure and intrigue as these games always illicit a new reaction from us. Activities give us new memories and more experience <3

2020 has been a bad year for many of us and 2021 is only just beginning but remember, the distance will close eventually. Have faith in yourself and in your significant other to get through this. If you really believe it, all good things are worth fighting and waiting for.